saturday night, 9:14 p.m.

so how you be?

so tonight i ended something that started so long long ago, which was actually the beginning of all of this madness.

tonight's rant, by the by, is brought to you by a fine ass bottle of kenwood jack london. i'd been saving it for something special along with a couple of cubans given to me, but decided to suck up the sauce tonight alone.

so like absolut is dead. he fell victim to stalking, harassment and otherwise general inattention. another identity that has always lurked in the shadows has now come forth to take prominence. somehow, though it's like a funeral for a friend. and by the way, i do love that fucking song. go elton. but i digress.

after my separation and before my divorce ... at some point or another i discovered napster and my long lost love of music.

as a further aside ... guess what i fucking found in my folks' garage the other day? my old goddamn records. my father, god rest his soul, saved them for one reason or another ... unbelievable. next time i'm over there i guess i'll go through them and see what's really there. but my god, who remembers album cover art? to my sick adolescent brain, stevie nicks on the cover of rumours was almost better than a porno mag ... hee hee. but seriously, there was an art in all that printing that just can't be replicated on a little 4.75 square piece of paper. god rest album art i guess. boo hoo.

so anyway, like i discovered napster .. and whilst i was illegally downloading tons of bad music and a smidgeon of good stuff, i came across the chat rooms and started hanging out in what i think was the green room. and from those humble beginnings absolut_n_tonic was born. born to rock, born to play guitar, born to get on stage, born to drink to oblivion with his namesake, and born to spend endless hours downloading, chatting, concert-going and drinking. little mr. absolut started it all.

later he evolved into snuff and slowly became just plain old me.

and here i am tonight. plain and simple. overworked, overtired and just plain lost. and so i killed the tonic i could no longer live up to be. gone with him are a bunch of junk mail, and some other shit i just plain don't want or need anymore. i'll stick with snuff for the time being ... the brooding suicidal quiet son of a bitch in the back of the room has always been more my style ... moreso than the eternal partier anyway. 

so goodbye absolut, may you rest in peace like your now long gone daddy. these days there's a new guy in town and while inside and mentally he's fucked up and a freak, he's now known only as that silent, quiet, peaceful rivermaster.

snuff