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that about explains how i feel right now. been working some seriously long hours the last three weeks with some god damn weekends thrown in to boot. boo fucking hoo. enough about work though .... heh heh so like my girlfriend is gone out of town this weekend to do a breast cancer walk, and i'm feeling guilty cuz i'm not going out there to support her, and i didn't drive down to san diego last weekend to pick her up on her first walk either. i'm such a fucking jerk sometimes. so i'm like blowing her off to go see throw rag, whom i love, but then again, oh god, who knows. anyway, i feel guilty and shit, so let's let it go at that. i'll give her a big hug on monday or tuesday and all will be well with the world, and sooner or later i'll refill the lost karma over this episode. in the meantime, i'll practice some guitar and finish my latest umberto eco read. so if you haven't figured it out already, i'm pretty toasted right now. got me a good peppermint martini buzz going. evidently i'm too god damn mother fucking tired to sleep. so i'll drink myself to sleep tonight instead. in all honesty, i did try to go to bed the legitimate way ... really truly. so i'm up now, just cruzing the web and doing this and that, and really going nowhere. god gas costs a lot of money. it's funny how one year can totally change your outlook on things and people. things i'm afraid to say, even on here, rotate constantly in my mind. things i'd of been more than embarrassed to even think a year ago. now i almost accept them as reality. i'm so confused. i know i can't generalize everything and everyone, but there are so few fucking exceptions it's hard to. so like i hear this guy on pacifica this morning ... on that democracy now show ... and his final words are that pretty much that nothing gives him hope in this world. how sad is that? how sad is it that i feel the same way? and what do you do if there is no hope? weapons of mass destruction my ass. why do in-and-out's burgers taste so damn good? found out they opened one near work this month. looked at the secret menu, oooooo. ordered a forbidden grilled cheese and found out it's just a stupid burger without the meat. fuckers. lol. they're still the best, even with the john 3:16 on their cups. animal style fries were really no better. and what's secret sauce and onions got to do with an animal anyway? so like i thought republicans were supposed to be upstanding, religious, ethical sons of bitches. come to find out they're just plain old sons of bitches. fuckers. tom de lay, carl rove, all a bunch of losers on the take. sad part is, they'll all get away with it. and you know, the prosecutors and juries, are probably all biased, and it's all not totally fair, but you know when it comes to those fuckers in washington, where there's smoke there's definitely fire. hang 'em high i say. good movie by the way. got spinal tap at the market this morning while i got my pretzels and zero calorie flavored sparkling water. wooo hoo! gonna check it out tomorrow and see the cucumber and pod bits, lol. woo hoo! anyway, that's enuf drunken ramblings for tonight. some think it's sexy grey matter. or is that gray matter. grey, gray? which one is it? my cd says fade to gray. but it could be the other i suppose. sigh. still living in the eighties in so many ways. snuff |
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