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don't even know why the fuck i'm up this late on the end of a school night, but what the hey here i am. so like what happens when life calls your bluff? hee hee. that happened to me yesterday. finally got a real call from washington state. now i have to figure out if that's what i really want. god mother fucking damnit. it's soooooo easy to say you want out and all that crap, but it sure is different when it comes back to stare you in the face so to speak. but i'm glad. god knows i need a change of pace ... and something positive ... and blah blah blah. at least they called. it's like i was beginning to wonder if anybody every would call me back. then ... gasp .. .they do. totally kewl. this could be a nice little gig for me. price is right, location is right, karma is right ... it's all so right ... but i'm scared. that's right ..... big bad mother fucking, slam dancing, beer guzzing, vodka abusing snuff is scared. not terrified. just scared. the silly part of this little rant, besides the obvious influence of alcohol on this diatribe, and i know those of you who know me know that i can't possibly be sober on a friday night at this time, is that don't have any *real* reason yet to be terrified. it's only been one phone call ... but, still, i'm excited, optimistic and oh so scared. so .. call my bluff. i'm ready. ready to move on. washington, heh. my god, my soul cries for washington. music, coffee, mountains and fish ... it makes me almost want to cry. of course bb is there too. sweet, tasty little bb. who i feel sometimes i disappoint sometimes. i'm such an ass. but she's my babe god damnit. nevermind she's so far away .... but maybe i'm getting closer. no more jinxing ... i shalt not jinx thy only opportunity in the grand state of washington any further tonight. and just for your information ... since i know there's so many of you so interested in my motivations and libations ... tonight's little missive is brought to you by the good folks at canada dry ... and their relatives at absolut. mandrin and tonic, baby. just what the doctor ordered. in any event ... it's been positive today, and regardless of what happens next week, for the next two days i'm exited about the potential this life can bestow upon a lonely, guitar-whoring son-of-a-bitch like myself. in any event i thank the karma gods for at least providing me with a solitary phone call. bless you all. peace out for now ... snuff
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