i can't really recall how many
father's days it has been since i was able to spend it with my dad. i guess it's
been about seven or so now. got a real nice photo of him today ... back from
when he was young ... cowboy hat sitting on the side of a river. the apple don't
fall far from the tree they say. it's true in so many ways ... some good ...
some bad. fortunately i've been able to work on diminishing those negative
qualities over the last few years ... and in some respects they've been replaced
with others from where i know not. in any event it turned out to be a halfway
pleasant day, giving back a little to mom and giving my brother some happy's in
his somewhat troubled times. as for me ... i'm still kind of in limbo. still
haven't found my way back to where i was a year ago. don't know if i ever will
at this point ... maybe i wasn't meant for that path and have instead turned
upon another. the old one seemed to have a direction and some grace ... this one
seems void of all meaning. or maybe i'm just trying to grasp on to things that
weren't meant for me. or maybe i'm just not ready to attack them again. maybe
maybe maybe. screw it. fixed up the bike today, going on a diet tomorrow ....
start it up all over again. i've got the shows down again ... and don't have to
force myself to go anymore ... thanks for that anyway. and the band is playing
again ... even moved to a large room to turn it up a notch. we're on our way!
but seriously, there's something coming around the corner i think. i don't know
what it is. i've just got that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach again. i
hope it ain't what i'm thinkin' it is ... hopefully it's just the alcohol
induced haze making me think that way. hopefully.
,br>
in any event ... here's to you
tom ... we're more alike than i ever suspected.
