april 27, 2005 -- 8:30 p.m. 

well well well. i'm still alive and kickin'! believe it or not.

i'd been informed recently that i haven't done much with this site as of late, and yes that is true. unfortunately working world woes have contributed greatly to the demise of my great work in progress here. sadly, the bulk of my concert going has been eliminated due to time and geographical constraints, leaving me with only the rare occasion to go out and blow off some steam. more on steam later in this broadcast. i can't remember the last time i went to one of these shows alone and kicked some ass ... and that's really really sad. boo hoo. i have seen a few here and there, mostly tame ones, good ones, but tame ones, and still need to post them up here, but it seems as if a lot of the thrill and ambition is gone for the time being.

i hope it's not gone forever, lol.

so my little miserable life has now been reduced to 11-12 hour work days, leaving my other commitments to be handled on the weekends. my guitars lie unused and even my cd's aren't spinning quite as much as they used to, as i've been listening to either the more cerebral democracy now on the drive into work, or the far from cerebral howard stern. i do have some nice company on the weekends and a few nights a week mind you, but it's just not like it was almost a year ago when things were a lot better time and workwise.

ugh.

i also eat too much damn fast food. learning to stay out of the snack machine at work has been my latest success on that front, and the sodas are gone for zero-cal flavored water or veggie or fruit juice. sigh. 

but enough of this god-damn whining. it's only temporary ... i hope.

what about the rest of the world ... it's still fucked. i heard this morning that now 50% of americans believe that bush lied about the war. go figure. i wonder what made them change their minds, and what the "believers" are actually still thinking. we are still torturing, killing, kidnapping, terrorizing, invading, lying, and any other 'ing you want to think of all over this globe, and all in the name of stopping terrorism. my question is who is going to ultimately step up to the plate and stop us? i'm sure the folks in the pentagon and white house think nobody ever will stop us ... but lots of other countries have thought that and we all know where they ended up. oh well. i'll sit here and wait for that flash in the sky and hope it comes before i need social security and find out it's been terminated. heh.

other than that there's not really a whole lot going on. just a never search to get back to the oc and my former life, or to find a new one. either way i guess is kewl. you can't stay a punker forever right? and fuck, even my hair won't behave lately. not that it's totally gone or anything, it just won't punk up the way it would last year. maybe there's a treatment for that, lol. rogaine and punk hair treatment ... that's what i need.

what else? my old company threw another 200 some odd people out on the street last friday. gotta love that. i hope that there really is karma in this life ... i've seen too many people get away with crappy displays of humanity. and besides o.j. and robert blake still need to get their just desserts. michael jackson still needs to be found not guilty before he can be added to that list.

and speaking of child molesters ... did you hear we have a new pope. heh. not that i'm saying he's one himself, but he is now the head of an organization that tends to protect and employ a more than average number of them. it must be a fine line to walk in a church. you try and be progressive on social issues and help the down and out while at the same time preventing them from getting some of the help and education that might actually make a difference in their world. joseph campbell said something along the lines that organizations like the church get into trouble when they can't get past the mythology and metaphors of their religion and take it all too literally. he should be required reading by any pope. and probably reading some of tom robbins books would hurt them either, lol.

anyway ... i'm gonna go post up a couple of reviews and look at some of the pictures i wanna post on this thing, and actually do a little work on it here and there. i figure that, like my guitar, my fly tying, and anything else i "want" to do, if i actually do it and get used to doing it again, i might actually stick with it ..... maybe, lol.

so with that in mind, i'll post something more interesting next week!

m