not that some of that
crazy-assed shit that runs through my mind has stopped mind you. i just have not
been in the mood whatsoever lately to do anything with this thing i started
almost a year and a half ago. hard to imagine. hmm. the best thing is the
obsession has subsided, hee hee.
truly of late it's been the best
of times and it's been the worst of times. well, almost on both accounts. my
decade-long career at the shop is rapidly coming to a close as the brilliant
minds of ownership slowly yet methodically destroy what's left of two companies
with a great potential. it amazes me, as a business major, and not the most
intelligent or ambitious one mind you, how people get put into these high-level
positions in the first place. the chutzpah (for lack of a better anglican word)
i've seen this last years has made everything else i've experienced to date pale
in comparison. if i've learned nothing else all these years, it's that working
together on both sides of the fence always produces the best results. but texans
like to play hardball, and all the while the companies slowly tank. i've been
thinking lately of writing a book about this ... a first-hand account you could
say of how to kill a business within a couple of years. god knows i didn't think
the former ownership was great, nor the first for that matter, but just when you
think it can't get any worse ... . so monday, it seems, will be the end of it
all for the most part ... the third mass exodus from the parent company.
unbelievable when there was so much potential. had a big blow out fight over all
this shit too. made a total and complete ass of myself and did some damage to a
good relationship. but fuck it. i wish sometimes i didn't care about crap
as much as i do, but i've invested so much into this shit the last ten years,
it's awfully hard to let it slip. i'm learning though. soon i won't give a shit
about anything! and what a glorious day that wil be, lol.
but fuck all of those guys
anyway.
we all know rock and roll is the
only thing that matters right? or maybe rock and booze and drugs and sex?
tonight i'm experiencing two of
the above and wishing i was experiencing the remaining two. i'll leave it to you
to figure out which ones are which.
had a lot of dreams lately for
some reason ... weird shit ... dentists, homosexuality, ufo's, rock stardom,
ex-wives, old girlfriends, current girlfriends, falling, you name it. odd since
i rarely remember any of these things in the morning. speaking of ex'es, lol ...
came across that confused little so-and-so's website. probably a lot more
interesting and useful than mine, but then again it's all done in white
background so that means mine wins cuz it looks neater in black. hee hee.
evidently still the same old gal she was when she walked out on me ... for good
reason no doubt, heh. it seems as if i'm the one who had to disintegrate and
reintegrate a couple of times. and somehow i don't think i'm entirely put together
just yet.
short of that ..... went to
death valley. it's amazing how much life there really is there after all. it is
truly an amazing place and i would recommend it to all you guys out there.
sooner or later i'll post the pics for those who care (and it seems there's a
growing number of you, lol). picked up the guitar and played tonight with the boys for
the first time in two weeks. didn't suck too bad ... but tanked on the
supersuckers. oh well. speaking of the music .... the house of metal has
been closed for what seems like an interminably long period of time. seen way to
many punk shows and nowhere near enough of the dark stuff, the metal stuff or
the goth girl attractor stuff. finally did heal up the ribs and back though ...
just in time for the next throw rag show next week! yippee!
fishing's coming up. that should
be good. figure i'll go even if i'm unemployed, lol. this will be the first year
i'm there on my b-day ... and i'll be 40 to boot. ought to be a nice way to
spend the halfway marker sipping a glass of wine watching the sun set behind
mammoth mountain.
and on the national scene ..
bush and his daddy still can suck my balls. nothing, and i mean nothing good has
ever come out of texas. nothing. not that kerry is any better mind you. and say
what you will about howard (stern that is) he still deserves to be on the air
without being fined. they should fine the networks on radio on tv for putting on
all that inanity that already exists. i'd much prefer to hear discussions on
necrophilia, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc., etc., than to see another joe
millionnaire or, god forbid, the disgusting spectacle of the swan. the fuckers
on those shows and the bastards who produce them should just be shot for
contributing to the demeaning and debasing of society ... in ways even howard
never did.
