odd days
seem to be abounding. i'm up ten pounds over the low juice level. but it's
coming back off. in the meantime i'm hungry. things are really surreal tonight.
my motivation's totally dead. i've had so much time to practice my skills on the
guitar, writing, singing, learning flash, meditating, finding another job, but
i'm not really doing any of it. everything has to be forced of late. anyway, i'm
attacking it piecemeal. the quest to download every song ever recorded is back
on track, i've at least practiced some scales once or twice tonight, and even
got on here to do a few things here. i think it's the war raging halfway around
the world combined with the changes taking place at the office. there's a
general feeling of malaise and that ever-frustrating "whatever"
attitude abounding. it'll be interesting to see how it all shakes out. said a
few words to a special someone today, so at least we won't part in total
silence. did i mention the fact that i'm hungry? tonight i'm priding myself on
not hitting the weinerschnitzel down the street, even as the tummy rumbles for
some comfort food. god knows i need something meaty and cheesy tonight, but that
along with the drinking, lol, has got to stop. i never thought i'd have a wine
buddy, but i think i do now. of course i drink the most between the two of us.
bringing up wine still makes me think of a bottle that's probably long gone,
that was meant to be shared with me. never happened. never will. that was the
end for some reason. i'm think i'm still waiting for the answer as to why that
had to be. in the meantime though, i'm going to go watch a little bit on the
tele while strumming a bars of she hates me and strange kind of love, although
peter murphy is easier to play than sing. oh yeah gotta practice the misfits
song too ... who'd of thunk they'd be so hard to do? this world is truly
mysterious at times!
