saturday evening

yet another one alone, lol.

so like tonight's stupid-ass missive is brought to you again by the fine people at kenwood. sucking up the last dregs of another bottle of jack london tonight. oddly enough it's the last thing i've drunk in like four weeks. oops, sorry. had a glass of beer and a few sips of wine in seattle a couple of weeks ago, but that was it.

boo fucking hoo.

man, there's like this wine bar in olympia that looks totally kewl, and i was like right there, but dressed way too shabbily to get in. bummer. 

it's nights like these i really miss my late nights partying three plus years ago. don't even fucking know how i did it back then, seeing as now i'm so god-damn tired and depressed all the time. 

the funny thing is i know my future is based in the great northwest. olympia, seattle, tacoma. who cares. i just want to go up there, but i'm too scared to bail without a job. poor fucking dumb ass me. 

seattle is where i'd really really like to be. downtown, hi rise apartment. freak show just a few floors below. hanging out in fremont or ballard. sipping some wine, catching some live tunes. there seems to be so much of that up there, and so little down here. oh sure, i had my nights here at the hob, but they're sadly dead and gone. they don't even play the same shows, have the same barkeeps, or anything. life goes on, and still i pine away for nights past.

nights past drunk off my ass .. passing time with some stupid-ass 20-something at the bar after the show. knowing nothing could happen, but enjoying the feeling of being kewl enough at 40 to hang without having to be some kids parent.

but now i'm here. alone. with a good book and a good bottle of wine and some internet. it's all safe and there's no danger. 

or excitement for that matter.

snuff.