march 14 '03,
3:22 a.m. [yeah, i'm up this early, what about it?]
can't sleep. for no particular reason i suppose. been up working for the
last hour and i'm going to write this and head to bed for an hour. lots of shit
on the mind right now i guess. work worries. relationship worres. spiritual
worries. the world's still not spinning right. probably just too much pepsi.
it's so quiet here tonight. or maybe it's just because it's so early. i don't
know. there's just no sound. in the drive through tonight [i know, i know, but
it's the only time i've been there this week] i looked out the car window and
gazed at the moon. aside from wondering about the process in your head that
makes it seem so much bigger at the horizon than up in the sky, i wondered how
cold and lonely it would be there. but yet there is still a strange attraction
to it, what is it about a bella luna that makes it so bella? it's just a chunk
or rock in the sky after all. odd that something like that would spark so many
missives, poems, books, songs, romances, you name it. you have to wonder what it
is inside the mind that draws it to the moon and stars. i could understand it
ages ago, when it was thought to be a god, or whatever, but now most people
realize it's just a chunk of stuff orbiting overhead. but i feel the same way.
there's just something about it that draws the soul in. kind of like a sunrise
or sunset i guess. nonetheless, there's no moon out tonight. just the orange
street lamps refracting off the smog, fog and haze. and kind of like this
nothing night, i'm not feeling much of anything myself. which is progress. sigh.
i'm gonna go pet the cat for an hour now and head in to work and practice the
axe for a while. seeing as how i can't sleep and am not in the mood to read,
it'll have to do. i'm gonna be wasted by the end of the day ... another show
.. hopefully not an extravaganza this time ... but it'll be good to get
out and see some friends again.
