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heh. that about sums it up. been a little bit of a long time i suppose, but there's been too much crap going on of late to really sit down and find some ambition to do much of anything here. for all intents and purposes my late nights have transformed for parties in pits to staying at work late instead. so i'm here tonight for whatever the reason may be, paid the bills, read the emails, got a nice glass of green tea ... surprised mother fuckers? yeah i said green tea. no boozing it up tonight i'm afraid ... and i'm in a somewhat pensive mood and don't really feel like burying the thoughts in another game of roller coaster tycoon. of course there's always the guitar that i haven't really touched in a couple of weeks, and that dickens novel i still haven't finished ... both of which i love but can't seem to find the time or ambition to pursue right now. and as that bag of doritos i downed on the way home tonight slowly grind their way through my intestines i'm thinking something more meaty and cheesy might have fit the bill better. so it's been an event filled month and a half or so. work is the same and will never change, although i am beginning to truly realize for the first time how truly horrible and mean some people can be. washington state finally made a lasting call to my girlfriend who will be on her way up there in a few weeks. don't know where that's gonna end up now. groan. of course i'm still seriously, and i mean seriously, trying to find that winning lotto ticket (just kidding) so i could somehow move up there but it's proving to be a little bit harder of a goal than i imagined it would be at first. there are so many reason to do it and so few not to. so cal is too expensive and the people here seem to get meaner and meaner every day. by the way ... we had a fire. at work. next door. seems homeless people had started their own shelter of sorts in an abandoned building. unfortunately a fire broke out. one of the inhabitants was wheel-chair bound and was unable to leave the building. bars on the windows also prevented other people from getting in and saving him. a few of us at work who were around at the time were privileged to experience the sounds of this poor soul screaming as he burned alive. apart from the sadness i felt over this little episode, i was also interested in the reactions of people you think you know. take firefighters and cops laughing and acting like it was all in a days work. i can only imagine what it must be like dealing with that kind of crap day in and day out. i guess you get jaded and don't buy into it emotionally and blah blah blah. it's hard to comprehend though. a lot of the people i talked with that day seemed far more concerned with the fact that the street was closed, or they had to park a ways away, or other stupid personal inconvenience crap like that than over this poor guys death. i dunno. i don't get it. i guess i should be glad i don't. so much for that kinder, gentler america. anyway, aside from that, not a whole lot of stuff is new. just a touch of that post-holiday season, hear a guy die, i ain't playing my guitar enough blues. keep the faith my brethren. it's gotta be better at the finish line. out for now snuff |
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