Home from the HOB yet again. Yet again not nearly enough sobriety for the
evening. I thought about her on the way home tonight. The sadness seems to
be gone, I guess. But for some reason or another, I thought about how good
it felt to lie on top of her. To feel her warmth. To feel her lips against
mine. The way she sucked on my lips and tongue. How she kissed my ears.
How it felt so good to do so much with your pants on and letting hands
roam below the waistline. I don't understand why the world works the way
it does, and perhaps I never will. But somewhere, deep inside of me, after
the hurt and bitterness is gone, I will look back with fondness in my
heart and a smile on my face on those nights spent in candlelight with the
world's greatest CD playing and lying with someone who will always hold of
portion of my soul within her. While I have some problems dealing with
this, I still don't regret saying "I Surrender" to that someone
who completely destroyed my defenses. One day, though, my feelings and
reality will coincide. When and if it happens, look out.
