just got home. wanted to write something. just got back from seeing etta james. my god. they do call them legends for a reason. anyway, after hearing more than one melancholy song tonight, enhanching that feeling with a few a_n_t's, and looking out on a sea of people, some happy together, some not, i'm now in somewhat the same frame of mind. mr. quilp of dicken's fame died this morning, nell and her grandfather died tonight on the way home. two other people helped to confirm what i'm slowly beginning to realize myself, and one of them gave the green light to withdraw from the medicine cabinet, so to speak. or at least try to. so anyway, after two sets of deaths, two doctors, and two days of looking upon someone i'm inclined towards (you've just got to love black) and standing next to susan and diana tonight, i'm in an awfully mixed up mood. so what the hell is it anyway? chemistry? something deeper? large breasts? all i keep asking myself is why. is it the person or the feeling? do i really fear the fact that it's both? and you would think that after shelling out so much freakin' money, they'd at least give you the answer! but the answers always have to come from inside don't they? i'm going to bed now, though. i want to share more, but it's too dangerous right now. maybe later. i've done entirely too much thinking for one day as it is. good night.
